Transitions
I am really looking forward to Winter Solstice this year. Some years the holiday spirit is completely lacking but this year it jives.
I have been celebrating (or attempting to celebrate) the Sabbats for about 8 years now. In the beginning it was difficult. I never really considered myself Christian, I was Catholic (which in my experience is the Red Headed Step Child of Christianity) If I told say a Baptist I was Catholic I got an "Ohh" and a very apologetic look. But on the upside now if I tell a Baptist I'm Pagan (and depending if they have heard of me or not) I am greeted with many colorful comebacks, from polite nodding and backing away to out in out rage at my poor choices in life where they instantly start questioning everyone I know and try to peel them away from my demon worshiping deeds. Whatever, people have A LOT of baggage tied up in religion. And me not excluded, which is why in the beginning it was difficult to make the transition.
I had 26 years of conditioning and tradition under my God Loving belt to contend with. I would think "I want to have Yule and recognize the Solstice but do I just disregard Christmas all together?... How messed up are my kids gonna be?... What's my Gramma gonna say??"
Well I did get quite a bit of backlash from my own Christan/Pagan change over. Sadly most of it found it's way back to me through gossip and hatefulness that those close to me couldn't say to my face. But whatever, like I said a lot of people carry their baggage in their religion. And I know for a fact that they love to pass that heaping pile of.. dogma to you :)
When I decided to really commit and get a taste of the old religion I discovered the fundamentalist Christian counterpart... The Born-Again-Pagan Christian haters. Crazy I know, and maybe haters is a harsh word...Hmm. They had been burned by the church, by the system, by the man, and they were not happy.
So the tricky part was find where I wanted to fit into all of this Dogmatic, Mythological Spirituality. And the super hard part is to not lose who I was in the beginning of it all. So I took some, I left some. It took a few years and some sad failed attempts but eventually I made a solid foundation for me to lay my spirit down and here I am.
Through all of these Pagan years I held strong to the stance that I was NEVER going to join a C...Co...Coven. Never say Never! I love my coven. We are... Unconventional, even to Pagan standards. But it works, for all of us. And my tiny ice block of a heart has never been more content in my own Spiritual skin. I can feel the seasons come and go, know the balance between the old ways and new and find joy in the small things. I can set up altar and pay homage to the Goddess but still make it to our extended family's table for Christmas dinner.
A lot of things went horribly wrong in 2011, it's probably a year that I will try and forget. However I am very glad it's ending on a peaceful note.
Happy Holidays :)
I have been celebrating (or attempting to celebrate) the Sabbats for about 8 years now. In the beginning it was difficult. I never really considered myself Christian, I was Catholic (which in my experience is the Red Headed Step Child of Christianity) If I told say a Baptist I was Catholic I got an "Ohh" and a very apologetic look. But on the upside now if I tell a Baptist I'm Pagan (and depending if they have heard of me or not) I am greeted with many colorful comebacks, from polite nodding and backing away to out in out rage at my poor choices in life where they instantly start questioning everyone I know and try to peel them away from my demon worshiping deeds. Whatever, people have A LOT of baggage tied up in religion. And me not excluded, which is why in the beginning it was difficult to make the transition.
I had 26 years of conditioning and tradition under my God Loving belt to contend with. I would think "I want to have Yule and recognize the Solstice but do I just disregard Christmas all together?... How messed up are my kids gonna be?... What's my Gramma gonna say??"
Well I did get quite a bit of backlash from my own Christan/Pagan change over. Sadly most of it found it's way back to me through gossip and hatefulness that those close to me couldn't say to my face. But whatever, like I said a lot of people carry their baggage in their religion. And I know for a fact that they love to pass that heaping pile of.. dogma to you :)
When I decided to really commit and get a taste of the old religion I discovered the fundamentalist Christian counterpart... The Born-Again-Pagan Christian haters. Crazy I know, and maybe haters is a harsh word...Hmm. They had been burned by the church, by the system, by the man, and they were not happy.
So the tricky part was find where I wanted to fit into all of this Dogmatic, Mythological Spirituality. And the super hard part is to not lose who I was in the beginning of it all. So I took some, I left some. It took a few years and some sad failed attempts but eventually I made a solid foundation for me to lay my spirit down and here I am.
Through all of these Pagan years I held strong to the stance that I was NEVER going to join a C...Co...Coven. Never say Never! I love my coven. We are... Unconventional, even to Pagan standards. But it works, for all of us. And my tiny ice block of a heart has never been more content in my own Spiritual skin. I can feel the seasons come and go, know the balance between the old ways and new and find joy in the small things. I can set up altar and pay homage to the Goddess but still make it to our extended family's table for Christmas dinner.
A lot of things went horribly wrong in 2011, it's probably a year that I will try and forget. However I am very glad it's ending on a peaceful note.
Happy Holidays :)
I miss you! We really need to spend more time together. I have all kinds of religious activities that I attend here in Bakersfield from Buddhist to Muslim hell I even have a church I go to once in a while and they let me, even though they know that I am pagan. I have yet to find a local group with the energy of my Lancaster girls and I miss it desperately!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to get to this point. I think having a house of our own is important though. Living under the roof of a devout Catholic is hard enough but trying to celebrate our spiritualism at the same time proves difficult, to say the least. Many blessings to you, woman! You are an inspiration!
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